


The Call to the Light

by Awkward_Bookworm



Series: Rey and Ben Deserve Better [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren in Love, Not Canon Compliant, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform, Sex, Shameless Smut, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Fix-It, Star Wars: The Last Jedi References, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), reylo smut, what if Kylo Ren made a different choice in the elevator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:41:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23165659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkward_Bookworm/pseuds/Awkward_Bookworm
Summary: "Ben,” she said softly, and his face snapped towards hers. It was instinctual—he couldn’t help it. It was as if she had found that part of him, that injured, lonely boy, and spoken to him directly. In an instant, she had sliced through all the defenses he’d spent years constructing. And he had thought that Ben Solo was dead after killing Han.“When we touched hands, I saw your future,” she said, pressing closer. “You will not bow before Snoke.”She was so full of light, so earnest. There was a strange tug in Kylo’s gut, one same that he had felt when their fingers touched. He knew what it meant, and it scared him. His gaze rested on her lips, and he imagined touching them. They looked so soft and he wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like to kiss her.[Kylo makes a very different choice in the elevator -- TLJ scene edit]
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Rey and Ben Deserve Better [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1617067
Comments: 27
Kudos: 135





	1. The Elevator

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I imagine a random story idea for Ben/Rey in my head. Once that happens, I am constantly bothered by it until I finally write it down and get it out of my system. This is one of those stories. I hope you enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired to write this after hearing Adam Driver admit that he was considering kissing Daisy Ridley in the elevator scene... 
> 
> I think we all wish he'd made a different choice, so here we are, using my imagination as a substitute lol.

Rey lay in the pod looking up at Kylo. The hangar bay was full of stormtroopers, but her attention was fixed solely on him. He kept his face impassive, knowing that any show of emotion would betray his feelings for her. Had they really just been together in that hut, holding hands? He couldn’t afford to dwell on it now and moved aside swiftly. 

Rey’s face fell and Kylo’s gut clenched. 

Two stormtroopers stood in his place, one holding a pair of handcuffs. Rey grimaced and hesitated before standing up. She raised her hands for the troopers, but her eyes never left Kylo’s, determined and strong.

They walked in silence to the elevator, and Kylo considered what he had seen in the vision when their fingers touched. Rey was going to turn; he had seen her standing by the throne, robed in black, and wielding a dual-edged, red lightsaber. His need to join her there was nearly unbearable… but first they would have to take care of Snoke. 

As the doors opened, Kylo raised a hand and stopped the stormtroopers that accompanied them. He didn’t need them— they were just there for show. And besides, he wanted to be alone with Rey again. The troopers looked at each other in apprehension before backing up. Kylo and Rey entered the elevator and let the doors slide shut. 

There was an uncomfortable moment of silence. Kylo wasn’t sure what to say to her now, and he could feel the need for connection radiating from her in strong, newly confident, waves. It seemed he wouldn’t have to speak after all. 

“You don’t have to do this,” Rey said, finally breaking the silence. “I feel the conflict in you.” 

Kylo looked at the elevator doors determinedly. She was warm and bright, and suddenly he wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore. The pull of the light had returned, and his throat tightened. It was better to keep his mouth closed— safer. But Rey wasn’t stopping. 

“It’s tearing you apart,” she said, turning back slowly to look at him. Kylo couldn’t look at her and he tried desperately not to listen, because there was a part of him that he had buried deep inside, a part of him that knew she was right. And if she kept pushing… 

Rey swallowed deeply. “Ben,” she said softly, and his face snapped towards hers. It was instinctual—he couldn’t help it. It was as if she had found that part of him, that injured, lonely boy, and spoken to him directly. In an instant, she had sliced through all the defenses he’d spent years constructing. And he had thought that Ben Solo was dead after killing Han.

Rey watched him closely, her eyes widening when he looked at her, and she took a step towards him. “When we touched hands, I saw your future,” she said, pressing closer. “You will not bow before Snoke.”

She was so full of light, so earnest. There was a strange tug in Kylo’s gut, one same that he had felt when their fingers touched. He knew what it meant, and it scared him. His gaze rested on her lips, and he imagined touching them. They looked so soft and he wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like to kiss her. 

His body remained rigid, holding him back, and knew that once this elevator stopped moving, one of them would have to make a choice. He thought again of Rey on the throne. Was that really what he wanted? To take away all of her light?

Rey stood only feet away from him now, their faces closer than ever. Her next words were jarring, as if in answer to his own thoughts. “You’ll turn,” she said. 

And then in almost a whisper, “I’ll help you.”

Kylo’s eyes searched hers for a long moment and he tightened his lips. Was that really an option? He wanted her to keep talking. He didn’t want this elevator ride to end, not yet. 

“How?” he asked, his voice low and husky. 

Rey’s eyes widened, and he took a step closer, leaving only inches between them. He scanned her face for answers, but she seemed startled by his question. Maybe she hadn’t thought it through yet, and Kylo couldn’t stop the disappointment from seeping in. Who was she kidding? He had killed his own father. There was no path to redemption for him. 

“It’s too late for that,” he continued when she didn’t, stepping back. “I can’t go back now.”

Rey shook her head defiantly and grabbed his shirt, bunching it in her hands and pulling him in. “That’s not true!” she exclaimed. 

Kylo’s throat bobbed, restraining himself. One part of him knew he should contain her until they reached Snoke, but another side, an increasingly larger side, was eager to drag her back to his quarters and…. well.. 

Kylo’s rational mind kicked in and he knew they were running out of time. If he waited much longer, this conversation would be cut short and Snoke would probably kill Rey. Was he really going to deliver her like a neatly wrapped present when she had come here willingly just to speak to him? The time to decide was now. 

In a flash, he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back against the wall of the elevator. Rey gasped and Kylo pounded a button beside her with his fist. The elevator slammed to a halt and their stomachs dropped at the sudden stop. Kylo leaned forward, his face nearly touching hers and he could feel the warmth radiating off her body. 

He pinned her there, his hands on both sides of her body, and looked deep into her eyes. Rey met his gaze and her face flushed. She seemed more nervous than before, but so was he. They had never been this physically close before, unless you counted their first encounter in the interrogation room. 

“Ben,” she said very quietly, and Kylo felt a shiver run down his spine. “Let me help you. We can defeat Snoke together. It’s NOT too late for you.” Kylo swallowed deeply, wanting to believe her. “Your mother still loves you and is waiting for you to come home…”

Kylo felt his knees go weak at the mention of his mother and tried to keep a straight face. But he had sensed her before when he had attacked her ship and knew that Rey was speaking the truth. Somehow, his mother did still love him. That was why he couldn’t bring himself to hurt her anymore when he’d had the chance. But it was going to take more than his mother to bring Ben Solo back. 

“And you?” he asked almost inaudibly. Rey’s eyebrows shot up and her ears burned. 

“What about me?” she asked in a whisper. 

Kylo nodded his head at her, his embarrassment all gone. It was replaced now only by a burning need to know, and a desire for her… and for her acceptance. “Are you also waiting for Ben Solo?” 

There was no hesitation. “Yes,” she whispered, and his whole body responded, abruptly, as if he wasn’t in control of his own actions. 

Kylo’s mouth crashed into hers, making her gasp in surprise. At first the kiss was sloppy and confused, but Rey titled her head and parted her lips, giving him better access. He leaned forward, his hands on her hips, pulling her close, and slid his tongue into her mouth greedily.

Rey moaned as he explored her mouth, driving him crazy, and one of his hands slipped up her back and found its way into her hair. The elevator dinged, catching them off guard and making Kylo backed up in surprise. They began to move up—someone had called the elevator. 

Kylo’s mouth ran dry and he made a snap decision. Pressing the emergency button, he cancelled the call before choosing another floor. 

“Where are we going?” Rey asked breathlessly, her lips a little redder thanks to him. Kylo grabbed her elbow and braced for the doors to open.

“Just follow my lead and be quiet,” he commanded. Rey’s muscles tightened as the doors slid open. 

They were greeted by an empty hall, and Kylo looked around cautiously before pulling Rey out with him. They glided silently down the hall until they reached his quarters. Rey, not knowing where they were going, kept walking when Kylo stopped, and he yanked her back into his chest. 

She made a small mewl of annoyance and looked up at him, her brows knitted. “Why’d you stop?” she asked. 

Kylo opened the door and gestured inside. “We’re here,” he answered simply. Rey scowled. 

“You could have said something,” she muttered before peering inside the room warily. Kylo got tired of waiting and pushed her in as gently as possible. Rey regarded the room, observing the desk, closet, bathroom, and bed. 

“This is a personal room,” she said blankly. “I thought you were breaking me out…?”

Kylo cocked his head and watched her thoughtfully. “You don’t recognize this room?” he asked.

“Should I?” Rey retorted before thinking. Then she looked at his chest and her eyes grew wide. Her head snapped back to his face. “This is your room,” she managed quietly. 

Kylo could feel his face threatening to betray him with a smile. She was just so innocent. Instead, he merely nodded. Rey’s cheeks blossomed. 

“W-why are we here, Ben?” she asked. His heart fluttered at the repeated use of his name and he restrained himself from doing anything rash. 

“I need to figure out how I’m going to get you off this ship,” he said. “So until I sort things out, you are safest here.”

Rey nodded slowly, as if she didn’t full buy his reasoning, and purposely looked at everything but him. Her cheeks were still quite pink. They stood in silence for a few moments before Rey looked at him sharply, eyes narrowed. 

“Wait, what do you mean, ‘get you off this ship’? You’re coming with me too,” she said forcefully. 

But was he? Kylo was willing to commit treason to save Rey, but he still wasn’t convinced that he could come back with her and just be forgiven. He looked away, crossing his arms. 

“We already had this conversation,” Rey growled, moving closer, but Kylo avoided her eyes. “Your mother wants you back— I want you back— it’s not too late to be forgiven. Ben, please,” she begged. “I saw you turn,” she whispered. “I know it can be done.”

Rey pulled on his arms and he let them drop to his sides limply. Slowly, he looked down at her, and she took one of his hands in her own. 

“I want to take Ben Solo’s hand,” she said. Her eyes misted over, and Kylo suppressed an urge to wipe her face. “Don’t you want to take mine?”

“You really want me to be Ben Solo again?” he asked, his voice wavering.

“That’s what I’ve been saying,” she complained, cracking a small smile. 

Kylo tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it wouldn’t go away. He looked at his hand, enveloped in her own small hands, and took a deep breath. 

“Okay,” he said, “I’ll be him, for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be explicit, hence the rating. I'm just warning you now, in case that's not your thing.
> 
> We good? Awesome. Thanks for reading and hopefully see you soon~


	2. The Vision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben come to terms with their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I said this chapter would be explicit, but then as I was writing, there were so many other things that I decided needed to come first, and then suddenly I had a full chapter written... so it's gonna have to be the next chapter.... and I wasn't even intending for this story to be three chapters! 
> 
> whoops. 
> 
> Anyways, I'm sorry if you were really excited about that, but it's coming next, I SWEAR. And hey, a little wait only makes stuff like that better, am I right?

Kylo tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it wouldn’t go away. This was the first time that anyone had looked through his mask, Kylo Ren, and truly seen him, the real him. Others, like his parents and those who knew him before, knew Ben Solo, and that was why some of them were able to believe in his return. They already knew it was possible. 

But Rey…

Rey didn’t know Ben Solo—she had never met him. She had no reason to believe that Kylo Ren was capable of goodness and light. In fact, it was the total opposite… and yet, she believed in Ben anyway. It was preposterous, really. But as Kylo looked into her eyes, he knew she had unwavering faith in him to turn, and it stoked a hunger inside of him that he had hardly been aware of. 

He wanted to impress her; he wanted to prove her right. They seemed to have a special bond within The Force that tied them together, and Kylo had the sudden realization that as long as he was with her, he could be at peace and would be content. 

He looked at his hand, enveloped in her own small hands, and took a deep breath. 

“Okay,” he said, “I’ll be him, for you.”

When Rey smiled, Ben realized he had never seen her smile before. He was dumbstruck by the relief that washed over him. She was smiling, and it was because of something that HE did. 

“Come back with me,” she said, and he knew now that he would do anything for her, anything to see that smile again. 

“I will,” he said without hesitation. 

Rey reached up and cupped his face with her hands, and with some difficulty too, since they were still bound in handcuffs, and pulled him down. Her lips brushed against his lightly, almost nervously, and Ben’s stomach filled with need. He closed his eyes and his hands found her waist.

He kissed her back with certainty, and Rey’s confidence grew. She nipped on his lower lip, and Ben groaned. He allowed her to push her tongue into his mouth and they stumbled forward as he directed her towards the bed. They broke apart for an instant so Rey could throw her cuffed wrists around the nape of his neck, and Ben closed the distance between their mouths again. 

When Rey’s legs bumped into the bed, she gasped, and looked back, surprised. 

“Oh,” she squeaked, her face turning pink. “When did we—”

Ben’s eyes followed the flush down to her neck and leaned forward instinctively. He kissed her collarbone softly and Rey gasped, obviously taken off guard. But she didn’t stop him either, and Ben took that as a sign to keep going. He trailed a line of kisses across her skin and sucked on the spot just below her ear. He felt her fingers dig into his skin as she groaned his name lightly. 

He pulled back slightly and brushed his nose against hers. Her eyes were closed and lips were parted ever so slightly. Ben ran a hand under her shirt and up her waist and her eyes snapped open. 

“Wait,” she said quickly, and Ben froze. 

He must have gone too far. Maybe he’d misunderstood her somehow. And the familiar voice in the back of his mind awoke. 

She doesn’t want you that way, and why would she? You’ve done horrible, evil things. There’s nothing attractive about someone like you, and she probably has someone else already anyways—someone good. 

You don’t deserve her. 

Ben’s jaw clenched and he withdrew his hand. “Sorry,” he muttered as he lifted her bound hands back over his head and took a step back. 

Rey opened her mouth to protest, but Ben took another step back and raised a hand, stopping her. 

“No,” he said. “I understand. You don’t need to.”

She narrowed her eyes and lifted her arms towards him. “Can you take these off?” she asked.

Ben shook his head. “When I get you out of here…”

“You mean us,” she corrected. Ben shrugged. 

“When that happens, it would be easier if you were still cuffed,” he said gruffly. 

“Then you can put them back on when we leave. But for now, please?” 

Ben considered it and decided there was no reason not to listen to her. She raised her arms again, expectantly, and Ben flicked a finger. He Force pushed the lock open, and the cuffs unlocked. 

Rey dropped the cuffs on the floor and before Ben could resist, she dashed forwards, and yanked him into a tight hug. His eyes widened, and he cursed his stupid heart for beating faster at her touch. He needed to distance himself and this wasn’t helping. 

“Rey,” he grumbled, trying to pry her off. 

But his attempts only made her hold on tighter, and she waited for him to give up. Finally, she pulled back and looked at him fiercely. 

“Don’t do that,” she commanded, but Ben had no idea what she was talking about. He raised his brows in confusion. “Don’t apologize for stupid things and stop deciding for yourself what I want. I can make my own decisions, thank you very much.”

“What are you—” Ben began, but Rey cut him off. 

“Who says you don’t deserve me?” she demanded. 

Ben’s heart skipped a beat. How did she know what he was thinking? They truly did have a special Force connection… 

“It wasn’t hard to interpret,” she said. “You were practically screaming it with your mind.”

Ben swallowed but said nothing. 

“Ben,” she whispered, her tone softening drastically. He relaxed his body a little. “Love isn’t about what we deserve. If it was, we would all be screwed.”

“Love?” he asked. Rey froze and her ears turned bright red.

“Did I say love? Oh, I meant, um, wow, that’s not what I meant…”

Ben couldn’t stop himself. “Do you… love me, Rey?”

Rey swallowed several times and withdrew her hands, choosing instead to fiddle her fingers awkwardly. “I’m just saying,” she said with a forced calm, “that you overreacted. I wasn’t telling you to wait because I don’t want to…”

Ben’s eyes widened. She seemed to be admitting out loud that she wanted him to… touch her. He couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting back towards the bed and Rey’s blushed deepened. 

“I’m just not sure now’s an appropriate time…?” she finished uncertainly. 

“No one knows you’re here,” Ben muttered. 

“What about Snoke?” she asked doubtfully. Ben shrugged a shoulder. 

“He’s not going to deign to come here looking for you. He’ll wait for me.”

Rey nodded slowly. “But still…”

Ben folded his arms and leaned against the wall. “You don’t have to make excuses Rey.”

Rey huffed in frustration and moved forward, cornering him. “Reach out with your mind,” she instructed. “I’ll let you in.”

“Wha—?” 

“Just do it, Ben Solo.”

Hearing his full name used like she was talking to a child had a strange effect on Ben, and he straightened up unconsciously. Then he closed his eyes and raised one of his hands slowly. It wasn’t at all like the last time he tried to pry information from her mind. Back then, she had resisted him with all her might, and even though she hadn’t done the best job, there were still defenses in place. 

But now her mind was wide open, clear, and Ben sifted through it with upmost ease. As if in response to his searching, Rey pushed what she wanted him to see to the front of her mind. 

He saw a vision of them together on some warm, green planet. They were dressed differently, lighter, and they were holding hands. Somehow, they looked younger, and there were smiles and laughter. In the vision, Rey kissed Ben tenderly and he ran a hand over her belly… She was pregnant. 

Ben pulled back sharply, and his face was wet when he opened his eyes. His breath was short and heavy, and he looked at Rey in awe. 

“What… was… that?” he asked, trying to catch his breath. 

Rey gulped. “It’s a vision, the one I saw in the hut. It’s how I knew you’d turn.”

Ben looked at her flat stomach and back at her face. “You were… you were…”

Rey nodded. “Yes.”

“Are you—?”

Rey smacked his arm and blushed angrily. “Ben, no! I’ve never been with anyone.” 

He nodded, still trying to digest the implications of her vision. Rey brushed his face dry with a delicate hand. 

“I hope you understand how I feel now,” she whispered, and he nodded again, grabbing her hand on his face. 

“I’m sorry,” he admitted, but Rey smiled and shook her head. 

“I told you to stop doing that,” she said with a small laugh. A shiver ran down his spine at the sound, and Ben pressed his mouth against hers without a second thought. Rey titled her head and parted her lips for him, and Ben kissed her eagerly. 

Then, reaching down, he picked her up effortlessly and Rey gasped. He moved swiftly across the room and deposited Rey on the bed gently and climbing over her. He gazed at her, taking in her disheveled hair and clothes, her red cheeks, wide eyes, and parted lips. 

“Ben?” she asked airily. 

Ben brushed his lips against her ear and whispered, “please Rey… I need you…”

He was terrified to make eye contact in case she pushed him away, but her arms wrapped around his neck and she slid one of her hands into his hair. Ben sighed and finally looked into her eyes. 

“I need you too,” she whispered, clearly embarrassed. Ben smiled, the first happy and sincere smile he’d made in years and Rey gazed at him in wonder. 

“What do you know,” she whispered. “So you can smile.”

“I can do more than that, if you’ll let me” he teased. 

Rey’s blush intensified, but she nodded, almost impatiently, and Ben didn’t waste any time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed and I'll have the next chapter up as soon as possible!


	3. The Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben express their feelings for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, it's finally done! This story was literally just meant to be a one-shot, so I'm still not sure how it became three whole chapters but here we are. 😂 I hope you enjoy the conclusion and hope to see you in future stories!

“Close your eyes,” Ben instructed, hovering over Rey on the bed. 

Rey gave him a questioning look before complying. Ben stroked her face carefully, amazed that she had actually listened to him, and admired her natural beauty. He knew others didn’t think much of her—Hux had even called her plain and ordinary, but Ben saw something they didn’t, and it drew him inexplicably to her. 

Rey shifted impatiently under him. 

“Um, can I—?”

“No,” Ben said quickly. “Keep them closed.”

Rey pursed her lips and kept her eyes closed, but she reached out her hand looking for him. She was so stubborn, which one of the qualities that Ben loved about her. He took her outstretched hand and kissed it, making Rey giggle. Then he lowered himself closer and began pecking her lips, kissing her cheeks, sucking her neck…

Rey sighed pleasantly and Ben continued necking her as slid his hands down her body until they reached her belt. He tugged at it impatiently and dropped the cords on the floor next to the bed. Depositing their shoes and her outer layer of darkened cloth aside the bed as well, Ben played with the hem of Rey’s shirt. 

This time when his fingers brushed against her bare skin, she didn’t flinch or ask him to wait. Instead, Ben felt her shiver in anticipation. Excitedly, he brushed his hands up to her ribs and Rey’s skin erupted in goosebumps. 

“Ben,” she breathed. 

The sound of his name whispered on her lips so softly made his pants suddenly uncomfortably tight, and Ben dipped his head down to her waist and brushed his lips against her stomach. Rey gasped and she bent her knees, pulling her legs up, and clenched the bedsheets tightly in her fists. 

Ben had never done anything like this before, but he had fantasized about Rey enough times to know what he wanted. And right now, he wanted to take things slow. So Ben propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Rey, still obediently waiting with closed eyes. 

“Raise your arms,” he said. 

Her eyes snapped open. “What?” she squeaked. 

Ben bit back a smile. “You heard me.”

Rey nodded nervously, and then raised her arms. Ben pressed his forehead against hers, staring into her eyes, while he trailed a single finger up her side. She sucked in a sharp breath and her body shook as his finger made its way up her side and hooked on her chest wrappings. 

He pulled back and gently pulled her shirt off. Then, holding her wrists firmly above her head, Ben pressed his lips against hers gently before deepening the kiss. Rey moaned and wrapped her legs around his waist, forcing his hips between them. The friction between their bodies clouded Ben’s mind and he fought to keep things slow and steady.

Sitting up, Ben tried to remove her pants, but Rey unexpectedly sat up with him. She smiled timidly before turning him over and climbing onto his lap. This was a dangerous position, Ben realized faintly. 

“Rey,” he started, but she pressed a finger against his lips, silencing him. 

Then her eyes drifted to his lips and she cupped his cheek. Pulling his face close, Rey kissed him again, drowning out all his other thoughts. He would never get used to kissing her. 

Ben groaned and let her take the lead as she pushed her tongue into his mouth. At the same time, she ran hand through his hair and tugged, making him groan into the kiss. 

Ben draped his arms around her and started unraveling her chest wrappings, and Rey leaned forward, making him tip backwards. Then, to Ben’s utter astonishment, she began roughly grinding her hips against his. His pants were going to need to come off. Now. 

He responded her to behavior by ripping off the remaining fabric around her chest and unbuttoning her pants. Rey pulled back from the kiss, her face now a bright red, and covered her chest with her arms. Ben smiled and brushed her hair out of her face. 

“No, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, sensing her insecurities. 

She raised her eyebrows and he nodded reassuringly. As she lowered her arms, Ben couldn’t help but stare. She really was completely stunning. Rey allowed it for a moment and laughed nervously before pushing him onto his back with both hands. The image of her shirtless and straddling him almost made Ben come right there. 

Rey reached down and pulled her pants off with haste. She paused to look him over, and Ben found himself becoming rather self-conscious now. But before he could do or say anything, she reached for his shirt and slid her hands underneath, palming his stomach. Then she moved her hands up, pushing the shirt up slowly as she felt his chest. 

For as many times as he had imagined this moment, Ben had never expected to feel so much longing. It seemed like it couldn’t have gotten any worse before, but somehow, now, Rey was making him want her even more. Everywhere she touched him was on fire, and she was moving so tantalizingly slowly that he almost couldn’t take it. He was already so hard. 

“Reyy—” he groaned, dragging her name out. 

Their eyes locked, and she seemed to understand. She nodded and pulled his shirt off in one motion. But as she moved her hands over his belt and then pants, they fumbled and shook, undoubtedly from nervousness. Ben sat up and covered her hands with his own, steadying them and helping her. Together, they ripped off the last of his clothing and Rey’s eyes drifted down.

Ben swallowed apprehensively, wondering if she would be upset with him for peeking into her mind. The connection was still open and humming, and Ben decided to take a chance. But what he found there wasn’t judgement, but apprehension. 

He bit his tongue to stop himself from laughing. Her fear was so silly, but he knew that if he laughed at her for it, especially right now, things would come to a grinding halt. 

“Hey,” he whispered softly, taking her face with both hands and forcing her to look at him. “It won’t hurt,” he said. “I’m done hurting you.”

“Are you in my mind?” she stammered. Ben shrugged and lightly trailed his fingertips down her sides to her waist, effectively distracting her. 

“Do you really want me to ask every time?” he teased, giving her rear a tight squeeze. Rey gasped and shook her head no. Ben smiled. Then he lifted her rear up so that she was kneeling over him and gave her a questioning look. She licked her lips nervously and nodded. 

Rey grabbed his shoulders firmly with both hands and slid down onto his erection. Ben’s mind exploded at the newly intimate contact and he closed his eyes, tilted his head forward, and clenched his teeth, letting out a low hiss. She was so tight and had stopped moving once she had lowered herself all the way onto him. Ben took a couple deep, steadying breaths and then looked up into her face. 

Her eyes were squeezed shut and her face was slightly pinched. Ben reached for her face and felt into her mind again. There was pain, but it wasn’t bad—they both knew Rey had been through much worse—and it was already fading. Still, he felt guilty for being so high when she was in pain. 

“Rey,” he said in a much breathier voice than he was expecting. “Are you okay?”

Rey nodded vigorously and slid one of her hands from his shoulder into his hair. She opened her eyes, finally, and Ben could feel her muscles relaxing. 

“I’m fine,” she said. Ben considered apologizing and was trying to decide if that would be too awkward given their current position when Rey started to move…

As soon as she shifted her weight, they both gasped. At first, she moved slowly, before gaining some momentum. And then she was rocking against him. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face there and moaning. 

Their bond was still open, giving them double the satisfaction, and Ben’s thoughts completely hazed over. Letting Rey choose the pace and rhythm, he gave himself over to her completely. He was probably never as vulnerable in his adult life as he was now, but Ben didn’t care. There was only Rey and their warm bodies crashing against each other in a mounting frenzy. 

“B-Ben,” she gasped, as they climbed higher and higher. 

Ben couldn’t find any breath to answer her. Every time she pumped her glorious hips against his, it left him panting. He grunted in response. 

“Oh, Ben,” she moaned. “Harder, please!”

Ben’s face was boiling, and he was sure that it must be bright red. Never in his life had he expected to hear Rey moaning his name, begging him to… 

But he knew what she wanted, and he was going to give it to her. One of his hands found the space between her shoulder-blades and the other gripped her hip. Then he pushed her up and over so that she was laying on her back underneath him again. 

Rey’s eyes scanned his desperately and Ben heaved up her legs from under the knees before thrusting into her. She covered her mouth and closed her eyes before wrapping her legs around his hips and pulling him close. 

Ben thrust wildly and kissed Rey as they both toppled over their shared climax. It was as if something within them had burst, and Ben swore he saw stars. Waves of relief oscillated over them and they shivered against each other as they came down in each other’s arms. 

Ben finally rolled onto his side and pulled Rey into a tight embrace. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his neck. 

“Well,” she sighed. “That was…”

“The best decision we’ve ever made,” Ben finished for her when she trailed off. 

Rey giggled and Ben held her closer, treasuring the sound of her laughter. 

“So now what?” he asked reticently. He needed her light to guide his way.

Rey smiled into his chest. “I think you know the answer to that. Or did you already forget my vision?”

Ben’s stomach dropped. “Rey,” he drawled slowly, “maybe I don’t deserve—”

Rey pinched him suddenly, making him jump. 

“Hey!”

“I already told you, Solo. I don’t care what you think you deserve. You’re mine now, got it?”

Ben gulped, still unsure. Could a child love him, even if it was his own child? No one else seemed to be capable except Rey. 

Rey pulled back, and Ben saw that she was glaring at him. 

“You’re my first,” she said with rosy cheeks, “and my only. Please, Ben…”

Ben nodded, feeling her pain over their bond, and yanked her back into his arms. 

“Yes,” he murmured into her hair. “And you are mine. I’m sorry, Rey. I don’t want to hurt you, but I keep doing it anyway,” he groaned.

Rey stroked his back, and Ben found it oddly comforting. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “As long as you stay with me. I need you, Ben.”

Ben nodded and kissed her hair again, tightening his grip. 

“And Ben?” she added after a moment. 

“Hm?”

“There are so many people who love you,” she said. She must have seen his thoughts without him even noticing. When had they become so intimate? “And our child will be no exception,” she continued. “When we get back, I’ll show you,” she whispered. 

Ben was sure that she must be glad he couldn’t see her face right now, and he grinned. Then he thought about her vision again and his heart grew warm just at the memory of it. 

Maybe Rey was right, and he could atone. Maybe, for the first time in what seemed like forever, he could actually be happy. 

He snuggled close to Rey. “Then let’s get out of here soon,” he muttered. “I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what should I write next? I love suggestions 🥰


End file.
